Checking Your Own Behaviour
Tips on How to Deal With Difficult People for Managers
Dealing with difficult people at work and dealing with difficult employees can be hard. But people don’t do things in isolation. You will remember from school that you had some very good teachers and some poor teachers.
You will also probably remember that, while you and your classmates behaved well for the skilled teachers you did not behave so well for the poorer ones. You probably also learned less.
There are lots of things you might be doing to make it worse. To stop bullying and other difficult behaviours it helps for you to be aware of the impact your behaviour is having:
Negativity
Surpsingly, this can be caused or made worse by your being too positive.
Bullying
This can be made worse by you not setting clear standards of behaviour and adhering to them.
Poor time management
Can be caused or made worse by you not giving clear priorities, clear deadlines or being poorly organised yourself.
Poor performance
This can be caused by unclear objectives or constantly changing priorities.
Ask yourself if this person behaves satisfactorily for others. Check with them if possible.
Also check as many situations as you can when you get the poor behaviour and ask what they have in common. Check them against the situations when the individual behaves satisfactorily.
An Example
I had a client who despaired with one of her team members who, seemingly at random, did not meet deadlines. When we investigated, it turned out from an analysis of her emails, that the deadlines he had missed where the ones where she had not given a specific time or date. In those cases she had called the task ‘urgent’ or ‘important’.
This was an individual who was very difficult to manage, but with a few changes to what she did, she was able to get him to perform effectively.
Check The Answers To These Questions
- What happened?
- How often has this happened?
- What did X say?
- What did X do?
- When did this start?
- What has changed?
- How many times has this happened?
Particularly:
- When does this tend to happen?
- What did you say?
- What did you do?
It’s also very useful to look at how others behave towards person X. Sometimes there are people who manage to get the best out of them. You need to find out what they do that’s different to what you are doing, if anything.
I have discovered many useful strategies using this approach.
You’ll find information about specific kinds of difficult behaviour in my book
“Difficult People Made Easy”
Tomorrow we’ll look at how to get people to improve.
Difficult People Made Easy
This is the ultimate guide to dealing with difficult people – plus how to manage them.
The Bestseller by Nancy Slessenger
Dealing with difficult behaviours from colleagues and customers can make your life hell.
- Do you have to deal with negative people who sap all your energy?
- Do you work with annoying nit-pickers?
- Do you have customers who try to bully you or throw temper tantrums?
- Do you work with people who just can’t make up their minds and then change them anyway?
- Do you deal with people who burst into tears all the time and are over-emotional?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, this book is for you.
In this straightforward easy-to-follow book you will discover:
- How to deal with bullies. 34 pages packed with real life examples of what to do and how to do it.
- Fuss-pots. Those annoying detail-mad people who nit-pick all the time and can’t see the big picture. You find out how to work with them in a way that keeps your sanity.
- Cry-babies. These are the people who get easily upset at the slightest thing and burst into tears. You can’t have a reasonable conversation with them and it drives you mad. You will discover how to talk to them in a way they will understand and will work for you too.
- Ditherers. The people who just can’t decide anything and make your life hell. Then when they finally do decide, they change their minds again. If you have to deal with these you’ll find easy ways to get them to make a decision and stick to it.
- Rhinos. The people who can never take a hint because they are so thick-skinned. You will discover how to get through that tough hide of theirs.
- Pessimists. The people who are all doom and gloom and pour cold water on all your ideas. They see problems with everything and, for them the glass is always half empty, even when it’s full. You’ll find out how to motivate them and stop them moaning.
- Negotiating. You will learn the basics of effective negotiation; a key skill when you are dealing with anyone, difficult or not. Understanding this process and how it works will be an invaluable tool in all your dealings.
- Summary. At the end of each chapter is a summary of what to look out for, what to do and why it works.
The results you can expect when you use the techniques in Difficult People Made Easy
- Improved performance from difficult people.
- Less stress.
- Better results in your dealings with others.
- An understanding of others in your life.
- You will be able to handle annoying, frustrating and difficult behaviour.
- You will be able to deal with bullying.
I’ve worked with people like this and their colleagues for years. I’ve packed this book with all the tools and techniques I’ve learned over the years that really work. It’s full of real examples and I tell you what happened as well as what to do.
You’ll be amazed at how easy it is to solve some of these problems that you’ve been putting up with for years.
